Abby doesn't need to look at her to know what expression she's making. There's a furrow in her brow as she considers a spot on her knee where the fabric of her pants is fraying, picking at it with blunt fingernails. She says, "I thought killing him would fix me," quietly. "All it did was make me worse." And she doubts that it would have been any different for Ellie.
She didn't take that final step, the same way that Abby did. She was able to pull herself back from the brink. Not an easy thing.
She stands up.
Distractedly, "Don't– rush Ellis about all of this, okay. I don't think he really wants people knowing," because they'd fuss, obviously, and he isn't about that. She probably shouldn't have told Ellie in the first place, but oh well. Abby doesn't regret it.
The answer leaves her breath short, catching at the edges. It's not better. Joel dying that disgusting, excruciating death ultimately did nothing but make it everything worse.
Ellie doesn't know what she might have answered with. Is fine with not answering that at all. It's best if she doesn't. Instead she takes half a step back, her fingertips still resting on the journal, eyes following Abby's shoulder, if not quite her face.
"Yeah." She taps her fingers once. "I'll keep it under wraps."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
She didn't take that final step, the same way that Abby did. She was able to pull herself back from the brink. Not an easy thing.
She stands up.
Distractedly, "Don't– rush Ellis about all of this, okay. I don't think he really wants people knowing," because they'd fuss, obviously, and he isn't about that. She probably shouldn't have told Ellie in the first place, but oh well. Abby doesn't regret it.
no subject
Ellie doesn't know what she might have answered with. Is fine with not answering that at all. It's best if she doesn't. Instead she takes half a step back, her fingertips still resting on the journal, eyes following Abby's shoulder, if not quite her face.
"Yeah." She taps her fingers once. "I'll keep it under wraps."
Even to Ellis.