Abby nods, even though she doesn't know — didn't know this until right now, when Clarisse said it. She hasn't let herself consider that Ellie might come back some day, it's the exact same trap as waiting around for Lev to fall out of a rip in the sky. If it happens, it happens but until then she isn't going to let herself hope. Clarisse is right though, getting her back wouldn't return things to normal. She understands that immediately.

"Why not?"

Clarisse stands up and comes toward her, takes a seat beside her on the bed and as Abby shifts her weight automatically, she accidentally brushes her leg against Clarisse's knee.

It's so small, a tiny point of connection, but it's all she can feel, all she can concentrate on. She doesn't move away.

"Yeah," she says, looking back, "It was."

And now she's thinking about it, specifically the exact way that Clarisse kept kissing her like something worn thin had finally snapped; how she kept her fingers inside even after Abby came. Fuck. She's been trying really hard not to think about that. Feels like she has to ask Clarisse for permission before she can but there's no way she could actually do that.

"I'm — it's good that you weren't sad." God, what the hell is she saying? "It was the first time in ages I actually slept through the whole night." Afterwards. Obviously.