"Because. Things are just different now." Clarisse can't put a finger on exactly what, and it's not like she's stopped loving or missing Ellie, but it's like some door has opened that she's never going to be able to close, and that's just how it is. She thought she'd be sad about it, but she isn't. She's okay.

Abby's leg presses up against her knee and stays that way. Clarisse can feel the warmth of her in that one small spot, and she waits for it to fade and be like all the million other times they've touched like this, but it stays.

Thank fuck Abby says what she does next—it actually makes Clarisse snort out a laugh and cover her mouth with one hand. "I don't think you even ground your teeth that night." Ha ha. She picks at her thumbnail for a few seconds before saying, "Um, can I ask you... You said something about how you don't look at girls as much, but you never said why."

During. Abby said that during, and Clarisse has been thinking about it since, but she hadn't planned on asking. Then again, she hadn't planned on talking about most of this stuff, either.