"Yeah," Abby mutters, "Because I didn't say anything about it." But it slips underneath of what Clarisse has to say and besides, there's no point in beating herself up about it after the fact. She's saying something about it now and that counts.
Instead she ends up staring at Clarisse, watching her rush through her words, get it all out quick. Her body looks tense like a set spring. "I didn't think that," is her first response. Maybe it comes out too quick but it's true, and she's desperate for Clarisse to understand that so she keeps going, scooting forward on the edge of her bed as if that will better convey how much she means this. "Seriously. I was — too busy freaking out that I was being kinda pushy while you were already sad, I didn't..." ... even consider the possibility.
She makes a face. It sounds like total bullshit somehow.
Frowning, she adds, "You wouldn't do something like that." It's not a Clarisse type of move — but she's hyper aware knowing this means the opposite must also be true and therefore Clarisse wouldn't have thought Abby would do something like that either. It's making her feel stupid, embarrassed. But at the same time that if she hadn't brought it up it would have kept needling away at her. It's better this way, even though it's awkward.
She sighs. Softer, "And I know I can't replace her." Who could? "That's — kind of the last thing I want to do, anyway." ... No offence, Ellie. Wherever the hell you are.
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Instead she ends up staring at Clarisse, watching her rush through her words, get it all out quick. Her body looks tense like a set spring. "I didn't think that," is her first response. Maybe it comes out too quick but it's true, and she's desperate for Clarisse to understand that so she keeps going, scooting forward on the edge of her bed as if that will better convey how much she means this. "Seriously. I was — too busy freaking out that I was being kinda pushy while you were already sad, I didn't..." ... even consider the possibility.
She makes a face. It sounds like total bullshit somehow.
Frowning, she adds, "You wouldn't do something like that." It's not a Clarisse type of move — but she's hyper aware knowing this means the opposite must also be true and therefore Clarisse wouldn't have thought Abby would do something like that either. It's making her feel stupid, embarrassed. But at the same time that if she hadn't brought it up it would have kept needling away at her. It's better this way, even though it's awkward.
She sighs. Softer, "And I know I can't replace her." Who could? "That's — kind of the last thing I want to do, anyway." ... No offence, Ellie. Wherever the hell you are.