I said it first and he said thank you,

( but she sounds smug, so it might not have been the only thing she said that shorted out his brain at the time, )

I fucked him about it when he said it, so. No, I mean—

( an exhale. she sounds lighter than she has done; happy. )

He said— that when I died at Granitefell it was unbearable. That he decided not to bear it. We've... he's been essential to me. Before I blew him.

( but don't worry, she got to that. )